As I reflect on my life in light of the soul-reflection Nouwen undertook at a Trappist monastery, I can see how my life needs to be grounded and centered. When I am more vigilant about the movements of my thoughts, I am more discerning about whether I want to pursue a certain thread of thought or desire in me.  Who I am continues to be mysterious to me. Although I have lived almost forty years with the identity of who I am, I still grapple with what I really want from myself and in this life. I am envious of those who live with  a full conviction running the race. What gives them the clear conviction and calling of their lives? Did they always know it is their destiny or vocation? My temptation is always wanting and desiring big and grandiose while being impatient with the mundane and details, looking to the future while ignoring the present. What is the point of concerning myself with justice and solving poverty of the world if I neglect the daily responsibilities in my place? It can be overwhelming and paralyzing to think of all the problems in the world. I can be restless and wanting to be everything to everyone. But the most important is being true to myself as God has created me to be–in communion with Him. We cannot bear fruit apart from our vine, Christ. I can only grow and bear fruit with the roots grounded in Christ. So I come back to the cross again as I start a new day. I come back to the Word of God to stay focused to let God fulfill His purpose in my life. I know the small step I take today in waiting upon God will make eternal difference in the future.